I have been reflecting over the past while regarding the comfort of fantasy… about how much easier it is to hold onto this idea of what it is going to be like, holding onto the hopes and dreams of the ideal relationship, the successful business, the perfect body, the happy family, the idyllic life. Getting caught up in the search for quick fixes…. This seminar, this workshop, this gym program, this diet, this new/full moon, this therapist/counsellor whatever…. As though each is going to contain THAT answer which is somehow going to provide this immediate cataclysmic shift into my perfect life. Of course, each of these activities have great value, and as a coach and facilitator myself, I am certainly not saying these things do not support each of us in this journey of life, and are instrumental in the changes that we seek…. However we are often conveniently forgetting that missing piece which is: only we are responsible for any change, and all work comes from ourselves…. One step at a time.
It is so much easier to hold onto this grandiose idea that fairy tales come true and that with this kiss [insert your quick-fix hope of the day] we will be saved from our existence of reality and all will be well. Somehow Prince Charming or Cinderella are going to provide the answers we have been looking for, or be the perfect partner to complete our lives, or if only he/she would do x then….life would be perfect!
The problem with this type of thinking is that: first, we are living our lives in the future and not being with what is now, second we are placing all our hopes, dreams and expectations on some external person or thing to provide (workshop, book, guru etc) and third, we are probably not looking at ourselves and being 100% responsible for what we can do to manifest our own hopes and dreams or take care of our emotional bodies and needs….. we are avoiding our own lives and making it someone else’s responsibility!
I often get people asking me if the work that I do will provide a solution or be the remedy for what they are struggling with….. and I tell them the truth…. It will literally change their lives. However, nothing is overnight, and there are no quick-fixes. Nothing will ever happen if you don’t start the journey, one step at a time, and take inventory of: Where you are holding yourself back by focusing on the proverbial knight in shining armour to rescue you from yourself?
Any personal development, or even new business development course or gym program or whatever it is you are going after will create shifts and changes in your life to the degree that you are willing to take personal responsibility in applying what you have been taught. Integrating new awareness’s and taking action.
Magic happens in the ordinary.